sLeEp-leSs niGhT~~

last night was a sleepless night...and i felt it's my 1st night sleeping in tears...all of a sudden i felt the pain and sadness of the things that happen...even though i haven't have my own kids, bt i felt how it is if my children act like tat to me...ad if i'm her 'kuli' to take care of her...can't we b grateful of what we have? can we trust totally on wat friends tell us? y dun we trust our parents who knows and gives the best to us? parents are like God who wants to give the best of the best to their children..so y can't u just shut your mouth and listen to them? your friends dun even know u as ypur parents know u!

i pray that God will open your heart to see what is good and what is best..not forgetting that you will learn to put your faith and trust towards Him 100%.. NO DOUBTING that he will take care of every single detail in our life for He is our MOST LOVING Father.. He won't leave us alone..

and i dun wan to cry over this anymore..how u ill treat your old ones, your kid will do the same to u in the future.. so treat your old ones with much love and care...

nEw 'p0sT'??

today, at 12.55pm, a baby gal was born into this world... her parents are my sis and bro-in-law... so i guess u know what does my title of this post means..... i have a niece already at the age of 19... great??? hmm.... am still at my place preparng for the last 2 papers....dunno when i'll go to my sis place yet...mayb after the 2nd last paper?? hmm...

i think i'm emotionless now....dunno wat feeling i'm feeling....hahaha.....i'm typing lots and lots of crap here now....bt the most importantly is i feel happy for them.... =D

weiREd drEAm.,.

i dreamt last night of something that won't happen...how can 'he' come and find me at my college? and the place seting of the event does nt exist in my college.....arrgghhh!!!!! i hate dreams...usually it comes true after a few months i guess....bt how can this happen? there's no see-through wall room in the music department... =S

i slept around 3.50am... we (i and 'he') didn't sms since 4th Nov.... i'll type the story behind the incident in the next post...back to the dream... i dreamt he came to find me in college..that time i'm in the room where the walls are made of glass with a couple more friends.. we were practising something that i can't really remember... he saw me and using his gestures to call me out to talk to me.. i pretend i didn't see him and tried to ignore him because i'm so angry of him.... then he opened the door and came in.. he pulled my hand leading me out to talk in private.. bt i pulled back my hand and we talk there and then... he kinda tried to comfort me of his action previously and dunno talk whatever else...i dun bother to take notice abt it... b4 he could even talk longer, i ask him to get out of the room immediately... he didn't move a single muscle and take no notice of wat i said.. so i push him out and close the door.. ignoring him totally..at the same time my friends looked at me one kind...perplex with the incident...then i woke up from my dream...

i wonder is it another game of my mind when i sleep or it's a sign or something?? hmm....wat ever it is i dun care....it's been like nearly a week i haven't sms him and i dun care abt it anymore... sometimes i feel lonely bt it will soon be over....

sensitive......

had been quite sensitive these days... is it bcoz i depend to much on my emotion?? haiz...
1st time slept in tears bcoz of someone... HATE it!!!! dun act u care if u dun really care la... dun be such a hipocrite... GET OUT from my life.. i dun wan to have u around in my life anymore... u may think i need u BUT i'll prove to u that i still can live without ur presence in my life!

so many things playing in my mind.. am i still the same person as i have been in the past? haven't i learnt anything from the past experience?
y must i put my trust in this things some more and let it take control over me?? i know it is impossible to go to the next level bt mayb i like the attention given... i'm an attention seeker?? hmm..... lots of questions to be answered.....

whatever it is, study first!!! AND not forgetting focus on GOD ALONE!!!!